Dear Santa

18 Dec 08, 5.20 pm
I've tried to be a good firer this year, really I have, but my equipment just doesn't seem to be up to the job. So here is my Xmas list for 2008:

1. Nips that cut when I want to cut and pull when I want to pull and not the other way round
2. Suit of armour (for displays on golf driving ranges)
3. Sea sickness pills (for the Bournemouth barge)
4. Waterproof trousers which are really waterproof
5. A SatNav which knows when to shut up and not state the bleedin' obvious **
6. Ever-Ready batteries which really are
7. Thermal underwear that makes a fashion statement
8. Ear defenders that remember to put themselves on before the show starts
9. A head torch that points where my hands are, not six inches to the left
10. And finally - a good night's sleep in November !

** Feel free to use this en route if Rudolph has a cold like last year when you couldn't find my house.